6 new video games set for 2022

Patrick McKemey
3 min readAug 5, 2022

With post-lockdown gaming now bigger than Hollywood and the music industry combined, here are six pretend titles that look to smash even more records this year.

Civilization: End of Play (PC/Mac)

The latest expansion pack that introduces the Civ franchise to the Digital Age, where nation-builders deal with cross-continental viral disasters such as remote workers or Carpool Karaoke.

Playing as Obama of the Americans, unlock the exclusive ‘Content’ Technology, with infuriated opponent Montezuma II willing to trade anything from gunpowder to Guadalajara for an untroubled supply of Top Tens and reactive football videos.

Fifa 06: Baden Baden (Playstation 2, Xbox 360)

A curious update to a long-obsolete edition of the worldwide football game that allows players sandbox access to England’s distractive Black Forest camp during the 2006 World Cup.

Elude paparazzi set at Legendary difficulty mode to secure tenure of Garibaldi’s night club, or form a WAG Ultimate Team with Cheryl Cole, Abbey Clancy and easter egg Marlene Dietrich as you build a small retail empire from the Group Stage all the way to the anti-climatic Quarter Finals.

Will Self’s Big Brain Literary Agency (Nintendo Switch)

Stockwell’s giga-nut sesquipedalian and heroin chic literatus lends his signature to the box of Nintendo’s latest puzzler on the contractual condition he never has to play the game himself.

Juggle a cascading in-tray of clients from difficult modernists and magical realists to erotic eBookers, all whilst facing an incrementally sardonic set of in-game tips from experts Will, Martin Amis and the parental-locked acerbations of Jonathan Meades.

NCP Car Park Simulator (PC/Mac)

The branded parking management sim that became a Twitch phenomenon in lockdown has expanded its glamorous location list. Grow your portfolio from less than a square foot of gravel and a can of WD-40, to managing the fortunes of over 1000 vehicles in the spectacular nine-floor tall facility at the Emirates Financial Tower in Dubai.

Toggle your budget by maintaining clement car park urine levels, or put your security dog to sleep in order to finance a potentially lucrative extra space for a 2017 Toyota Yaris.

Call of Duty: Minor Royale (Playstation 5, Xbox Series X)

The big-budget first person shooter that follows the fortunes of retired special forces operatives who pick up easy pay packets keeping A-list celebrities out of trouble whilst monitoring their own paunch status.

Campaign Mode starts off pleasantly enough at Buckingham Palace by filtering out hate mail sent to Prince Andrew, eventually working your way up to foiling multiple planned bite attempts at the Royal Variety Performance during an unlockable zombie apocalypse mode.

Red Dead Redemption 2: Horse Eye Panoptobarn (Playstation 4, Xbox One)

A long-awaited extension to the Online mode astonished GameCon press, with a new update allowing players to scroll between cameras inside every single horse in the game map giving them an omnipotent equine perspective on all the gunslinging action.

Choose when to discharge manure, run around in a field or even buck anti-social riders, with the new found horse autonomy drawing praise from worldwide animal rights groups and the Irish.

By

. Special thanks to Scott Brooks.

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Patrick McKemey

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